Saturday, March 7, 2009

I Thought...

I wanted things to be just fine; I wanted life to be smooth,
It's not in my hands to decide, what kind of fate to choose.
I wanted bliss and happiness around me all the while,
In my stride I wish I could, take it all with a smile.

I thought I could go on again like the way it was before,
Get back on my feet, get over it and handle even more.
I thought I could forget it all and go on with my life,
What did I know that life was all about uncertainty and strife!

I thought I had the strength and will to beat all the odds,
To survive the adversities and prove it to my Gods!
I thought I could have things the way I always wanted,
But reality brought it all down, my confidence much vaunted.

I thought I could get my confidence back and be myself again,
Till I found out I couldn't and all efforts I made were in vain.
I also thought it was maybe a joke, and it would be over soon,
To all the bad things in life, I thought I was immune.

It all seems so far away now, the days when I wept,
Till all my tears had dried away and then did I finally accept,
That all that I thought was just a thought and life was all about tests,
You may not get what you want, but what you get is for your best.


- Azaad!!
Note from the Author (or poetess??) :P
Tragic and depressing, huh? Well most of the poems I write are this way, except for one (The Unnamed Feeling) which I still don't have the courage to read again much less to post it over here. I'll do it soon when I feel that I can let the world read it.

The weirdest thing about this poem is that I was inspired to write this (okay, not inspired! Let's just say that the thought of this poem came...) when I was reading Accounting Standard 6 - Depreciation Accounting. And I was wondering, if AS-6 can give me such wonderful ideas, I should start reading it everyday (although that would be very boring reading the same Standard every single day! Damn! Why don't such ideas come when I'm reading regular stuff that I enjoy reading?)

The last poem I wrote (again 'The Unnamed Feeling') was somewhere in June 2008 and I haven't felt the need to write a poem since then. But hey, AS-6 can do wonders (apparently!! Haha!) Anyway, don't read too much into the poem and please don't ask questions. Its just something that came out when my fingers touched the keyboard (I know that's lame and not an excuse at all, but this isn't the time or the place to give explanations for something that I want to consider as one of my best works so far!) and to know that something like this has turned out after the two horrible posts that I posted to the blog and deleted 'coz it didn't sound like me (I almost wrote that it was my alter-ego that also had access to my blogger password and it took the liberty to post crap here!! I know... bad attempt at the funny!) is something that I feel good about.

It's weird when you want to write something and the words just don't flow. But when they do, you know whether you've done a good job or not and when you're sure that you have, you say it out loud. So here it goes. This is one of the finest poems I've written so far and I'm proud of it. Depressing or not, I don't care as most of my poems are so. It seems like my best work comes out when I'm putting my worst emotions on paper... oops! Sorry... on the blog ;-)


Don't worry, I'm not low. I'm totally FINE!

When I have the strength to read it again, I'll post The Unnamed Feeling too.

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