Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Back to Life :-)


The phone beeped once and then vibrated a few times before it caught my attention. I lifted my head from the pillow and checked the screen to see that it was Malika calling. The Sweet Dreamzzz profile created on my phone didn't help much as even though the phone just beeped once when I got a call, the sound of the phone vibrating was loud enough in the room where the only other sound was the fan running.

I answered the call. She wanted to know the address to which the letter to the CA Institute had to be sent. I told her something in half consciousness but realized I might have been wrong. I called my mother the next instant to ask her what was the address she had sent the letter to. When she confirmed, I called Malika back and told her that the letter had to be sent to Delhi and not Noida as I had told her earlier.

I started to walk towards my bed to go back to sleep when I noticed something strange. There was a book on my dressing table with my glasses folded and placed on top of it; Jeffrey Archer's Paths of Glory. I had been reading that before I fell asleep.

It took me a while to realize that I didn't have to sit to study in sometime and that it was okay that I slept until 1 PM. After my exams, I had been away for a week and it was the first night I slept on my own bed without having to wake up and worry about completing the day's targets.

We redid the entire house last year and it looks nothing even remotely close to what it used to look earlier. The renovation was completed somewhere in December and since then there has been this pressure to study. So I'm not used to not having that feeling in this new house. When I came back yesterday from Jyothi's place, I felt that I might have to sit to study in sometime and then I realized that I didn't have to do that anymore till sometime at least.

But the feel of the book on my dressing table was just amazing; life was returning back to normal. I can't begin to describe how I had resisted the urge to read so many novels that I had bought during the last year.

The existence of such small indications of normal activities, thrill me more than anything else ever could. Maybe it's just because I'm getting to do all these things without any restrictions or any time limit that I am enjoying these little things even more.

For instance, while I was still at Jyothi's place, I stood at the window with her mom for about forty-five minutes staring at this magnificent building that's just next to hers and dreaming away, talking to her mom and not caring how much time went by. I can't remember when I did such a thing before this! The smell of the earth after the first rains, laughter with friends, seeing a smile on the faces of people you love the most; brought such joy that I had never experienced before. I guess this is what being mentally relaxed feels like.

Bit by bit, fragments of my life are coming back together to present a normal tension free life. There's no guarantee if such a feeling will last long, but then my policy has always been to enjoy the moment while it lasts; and I'm making the most of this feeling! :-)

-Azaad!!

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