Thursday, May 27, 2010

Forbidden Fruit

No! I am not talking about the apple that Adam and Eve ate in the Garden of Eden; but something totally different. Before I go to what I’m about to say, can you do me a favor and check something on the right sidebar? Again, no! I’m not talking about the new buttons I’ve created although I’d love for you to place one of them on your sidebar. :P

What I’m asking you to look at is the blog archive for the last month (April 2010) and this month (May 2010). See the difference? I’ve written fourteen posts in April, and just five this month (including this one) and it’s less than a week until June begins.

The irony; is that April was supposed to be a very busy month for me – academics wise, since I had my exams beginning from the 3rd of May. But if you notice, since the time I’ve started blogging I’ve never written fourteen posts in one month and especially not the month right before my exams.

I don’t know whether this was fortunate or unfortunate, but after I wrote my first paper – the very next day actually; I fell really ill. In the afternoon that day, I was diagnosed as having a urinary infection that could probably be caused because of a stone in my kidney. I came home with my medicines and immediately got a terrible pain in my stomach and had to rush to the bathroom and it was the third trip since morning out of the six I made during the whole day.

I had to go to the doctor again in the evening and he told me I had a stomach infection too. I was dehydrated by the end of the day and was surviving on fluids with electrolytes and curd rice for food since I was asked to avoid eating oily and spicy food.

The next two days were no better. Even though after my first paper on the 3rd I had my exam directly on the 7th, that morning I was just as weak. The three days’ gap between the two papers was enough for me to study really well and then appear for the exam on Friday, but we all know how Tuesday went; and Wednesday and Thursday were no better with weakness and pain in every inch of my body. I couldn’t even sit properly for more than ten minutes without feeling pain in my back. I decided that I would have to just write the paper from whatever I had studied previously as I hadn’t gotten time for any revision right before the exam.

On the morning of the exam, I planned to get up by five thirty in the so that I would have time to go through at least a few chapters in those few hours but wasn’t able to lift myself out of the bed at all. It was eight thirty by the time I woke up. I immediately had a bath so that I would be fresh while studying. By then, the stomach infection had completely been cured but I was still experiencing dizziness, weakness and pain in my stomach. I called the doctor and he told me that we would have to get a blood and urine test done along with a sonogram to find out what’s causing the pain.

I was trying hard to focus and read but wasn’t able to. It was almost ten by then and I had my exam at two in the afternoon, so I still had time. But I realized I was getting a head rush every time I got up from a chair and it didn’t look like a good sign because I was feeling weak again. I didn’t know what to do.

My mother had already left for office and Natasha had left too (to go where, I don’t remember.) There was no one I could take along with me to the centre to be with me in case something happened. And I didn’t want to take risk of fainting in a room where just about everyone would be interested in getting over with the exam; or worse, they could assume that I had a nervous breakdown when I saw the question paper and that was the reason I fainted and that would scare people. So I decided to stay at home; it was sort of a public service actually. :P

I rested the entire day and geared up for my tests. Fortunately I didn’t have to take the blood test on an empty stomach so I didn’t have to starve myself. But the sonogram on the other hand needed a full bladder. I had my appointment at about six forty five in the evening and I was asked to start drinking water from six.

I was there just on time but the doctor hadn’t reached. Someone took a sample of my blood and I waited there for another ten minutes with a full bladder, getting impatient by the minute. Finally, they called me in and got the sonogram done. I was a little at ease after I went to the bathroom, but I was still worried about what was wrong with me.

While doing the sonogram the doc said that there was a stone in my right kidney. Also, there was a swelling in the ureter which could suggest that there was another stone there that was stuck. My bladder was swollen as well and that was causing the pain. The swelling could be because of the infection in the urinary tract or because of the stone itself. So yes, there was something that was wrong. It was a little more relief knowing what exactly was wrong. Also, it helped because if there was nothing wrong I had missed the exam for no reason at all. The test results eased the guilt a little bit.

It took three or four days more for the pain in my stomach to go away completely and by then I had missed two more exams. What was the point then in writing the other papers when I had missed a few and wouldn’t clear the group anyway? So I decided to relax and get better.

So officially I haven’t been studying since the 4th of May, which means I’ve had loads of time on my hands. And given that I blogged even when I was supposed to be studying, the turn out of the number of posts since then has been meager.

I was under the impression that since I had nothing else to do, I could spend the entire time blogging. But I didn’t feel like it. All I wanted to do was relax. I remember watching (and getting addicted to) House M.D., Prison Break and Scrubs because I used to watch them on the computer plainly because it didn’t involve a lot of moving around and I was getting entertained. What more could I ask for?

But the irony here, as I started to describe in such painful detail at the beginning of this post, is that I blogged like a maniac when I wasn’t supposed to and barely managed a few posts when I had all the time in the world! The more I thought about it, the clearer it became to me.

It is always exciting to do something that you’re not supposed to, and that’s not a bad thing unless it harms or hurts someone. So during April when blogging was supposed to be a complete no-no for me, I took every opportunity that came my way, to make a post out of it and they (the posts) were not so bad either :P

But when it was okay for me to write even five posts a day (not that I am ever planning on doing that) I didn’t even care. It has been three weeks since I fell ill (and about ten days since I’ve been better) and all I’ve written about is; needing a button, presenting you with your options and conducting a poll as to which one should I use as my button (poll results at the bottom of the page) and then announcing the results!

I remember the days in April, when everything – the silliest thought in my head, the weirdest commercial on TV, and everything else around me – could be created into a blog post. So what changed this month? And it wasn’t as if there was nothing to write about. There were the blanks to be filled every Friday that I didn’t bother to participate in, other memes and awards happening all around the Blogosphere that I didn’t want to do; and there was still the half written story (which I’m sure those of you who read would have lost interest in it by now!) that I needed to complete, a few other stories that I have ideas for that needed to be written, the ridiculous stuff on TV that I wanted to write about and criticize! God! There was so much to do!!!

And I was sitting on my lazy ass! Can you believe that I didn’t even use the internet on the computer but just watched the shows? I logged in twice a day from my phone to check if there was any new e-mail that’s all. What’s worse, I wasn’t even talking to anyone over the phone (much) except Sandeep. I became so lethargic that I was wondering what I had turned into.

What I did do was something I wouldn’t have been able to if I had been able to write all my papers and honestly that kept me a little busy. So I was not sitting on my aforementioned lazy ass all the time.

My last exam was on the 17th and one of my cousin brothers was getting married on the 16th. So when I missed the exams, I decided that I would attend his wedding and actively participate in the functions preceding the wedding since I hadn’t been able to attend any of my cousins’ weddings yet and each time it had something to do with my CA course or CA exams. So it was time for revenge! I went, dressed up, and ended up having a great time at the wedding, which I hope I’ll write in a totally separate post (hopefully the one after this one.)

Also, I went to spend a few days with my other cousins as I hadn’t seen them in a really long time. I also finished a book – ‘Kane and Abel’ by Jeffrey Archer, got rid of all my CA books – time to put the alternate career plan in action, and set a few targets to be achieved in the direction of my new career. A detailed plan still needs to be chalked out, but as they say, well begun is half done.

To review, blogging for me is like the forbidden fruit was to Adam and Eve. I want it more when I’m not supposed to have it.  But I don’t think I can stay away from this for long – forbidden or not! I guess I’ve given a pretty good explanation as to why I haven’t been posting (and reading/commenting on other blogs) the past few days, and I’m out of that phase now!

Oh! There were these series of posts with the title ‘Side Effects of Studying‘ and I mentioned about five of them and I have more for you. Just because I’m not studying now doesn’t mean I can’t talk about its side effects! ;)