Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Talk about Meant to Be...

One down, six to go – although I’m not planning on writing the last two which means I have four more papers to write before I can come out of the aforementioned metaphorical box that I’m in and I can’t wait.

The paper was good and for the first time and I can happily say that my marks this time are going to show that – although for the amount of efforts that I (hadn’t) put for the exam; I got off pretty easy.

Accounting is one of my strong points and I’d prefer that any day to Law or Taxation. So I wasn’t worried about it all that much. But the nonchalance before the exam was a bit too much on my part. But what could I do? Force myself? Nah… didn’t want to do that. A little bit of it came because of the confidence I had in the subject and knowing that I would be able to score decent marks.

So anyway, I hadn’t slept the night before the exam at all. I woke up after one in the afternoon on Sunday and stayed up the entire day and the entire night. It was somewhere around eleven in the morning on Monday (about three hours before my exam) that I thought about resting my eyes for a few minutes which extended to an hour and fifteen minutes. I woke up by twelve fifteen, had a little bit of lunch and was watching some TV while I was eating; and here’s the best part.

I was randomly changing channels to check what would be worth spending those fifteen-twenty minutes on because I was planning on leaving at around one. I tuned into Star Movies and ‘Make it Happen’ (I hope I’ve got the name right) was on. I could catch only the last few minutes of the movie, but I guess those last fifteen minutes said it all.

There was this girl who wanted to be a dancer but was working in her dad’s shop (don’t know what the shop was all about or what kind or work she did there) that her brother took care of after their father passed away. She wanted to audition for this dancing school that she wanted to get into to learn dance but she couldn’t because she thought her brother wouldn’t agree. Later on, her brother realizes that she’d be way better at doing what she loves to do than being stuck in a place where she doesn’t feel happy and he asks her to go audition. She goes, she dances and she gets in – pretty much the obvious happy ending for the movie that anyone watching it could’ve guessed; but for me, its meaning went a little deeper than THAT.

There I was, minutes away from leaving the house to go write my exams, and I had this revelation! I wanted to be that girl who lived her dreams. Call me superstitious, but I believe in signs; and I (for my own benefit) would like to think of those last fifteen minutes of the movie that I saw as a sign, that I should forget about doing what I’m currently doing and go grab at the opportunity of doing what I’d love to do (and it’s not exactly like her story. It’s not only dance that I want to do.)

I was very close to forgetting about going to the exam, but decided to go write it anyway. I had put in six years into this. If anything at all, I’d be able to write something in the paper! I had also paid the fees for the exam and there was nothing to lose. So I went.

There was some last minute reading that I wanted to do when I reached the centre but I knew that wouldn’t be possible with so many people around, acquaintances asking me if I was done studying. So I decided not to bother about reading up after I reached there. How much of a difference would it really make, those fifteen minutes of last minute reading? Really?

But then a freaky thought crossed my mind. What if I took another book to read – say “Shantaram” that I’m currently reading?? How freaked out and shit scared would the others at the centre be when I was casually reading a novel when they were racking their brains to do some last minute reading on Accounting Standards or Guidance Notes? It was a funny thought and I was sooooo tempted to go through with it, but then I decided not to. Hell, I wasn’t (that) serious about the exams! Why spoil other’s chances by getting them all tense few minutes before the exam?

But yes – the timing of those last few scenes of the movie just before I was about to leave home was perfect, as if God was sending me an electronic indirect signal. Needless to say, I understood the message and I’m glad that it happened. I’ll follow my heart once these exams are over. I promise! :)