Saturday, December 25, 2010

There's no room for Vanity in Bigg Boss's house.. well, at least not anymore

Before I start off, I want to admit to one thing - I have loads of time at hand and I choose to utilise it by honing my writing skills (obviously, blogging is my first choice.) That's the reason there've been a lot of posts; especially in the last few days. Also, in my free time, I've been watching (among other things) Bigg Boss Season 4 (which is the adaption of the British reality show Big Brother) and I have soooo much to say about it. Well, just one of the inmates actually. I wonder why I haven't written about it till now?

I pretty much enjoy every bit of the show (even Dolly Bindra now) except for Veena Malik who makes me want to puke every time she comes on screen, and I am not exaggerating. She is a Pakistani actress who (from what I have seen of her on the show in the last 80 days or so) appears to be so vain that her day begins by stretching seductively (that includes touching herself and pouting her lips) in front of the cameras when the wake-up music is played and running her fingers through her hair (Every. Single. Day.); which seems to be an attempt to turn the entire country on. Her facial expressions when she is happy or excited are more orgasmic in nature than ecstatic.

Her hobby seems to be flirting with every thing; living or not. Just the day before, she had crocodile tears flowing out her eyes when she was appealing to Bigg Boss that she was going on a hunger strike because he had been unfair to her. She gave a two-minute long speech immediately after which she looked into a mirror that lay on her bed and ran her hand through her hair. 

Her survival techniques in case of any adversity, apparently are only her looks and body. She also seems to be of the opinion that anyone who doesn't have a body as perfect as hers or who is less beautiful than her, is beneath her. For her, everything in this world is about being beautiful and obviously, everything begins and ends with  beauty. How she has been on the show for twelve whole weeks, I still cannot understand.

She bats her eyelashes and transforms from this otherwise loud, hyperactive and uncoy woman to the complete opposite of that, whenever Salman Khan is on screen as if she's trying to woo him. Thankfully, he knows better. On the other hand, she also seems to share a "friendship" with Ashmit Patel (another inmate) - a friendship that I (and obviously every other human being on this planet will agree with me when I say this) neither understand nor am comfortable with. I know that their "friendship" is not dependent upon whether others are comfortable about it or not, but when you're on TV and you know people are watching, I guess that should be considered.

What part of friendship requires hugging, kissing on the neck & ears, snuggling up to each other especially when everyone around who's watching feels like they want to claw their (own) eyes out? This, when she claimed to be in love with another contestant in the house - Hrishant Goswami. Really woman, how can you tell one guy that you have feelings for him and kiss and cuddle with another one a few minutes later??? Forget self-respect or decency or even character for that matter; are you even sane? Because even crazy people can compliment words with their actions!

Last season, the contestants included a married couple  and I can't begin to describe how brilliantly those two conducted themselves without grossing anyone out with their mushy business. The only physical contact we saw in the previous season between Tanaaz and Bakhtyar Irani was the early morning kiss he gave her on her cheek (or she on his) and the occasional hugs. On the other hand, these two so called 'friends' are only short of making out on national television. 

I say go ahead and do it if you want, but then don't say "We're just friends." The audience is not stupid. They can tell the difference between when two people are friends and when they're horny. I think Bigg Boss should have had a "Parental Guidance" warning when all of this started to happen, because it started to look like a B-grade film when those two were alone. And it wasn't restricted to only when they were alone.

After such shameless display of what (for lack of a better word) I can only call 'lust,' Veena Malik goes on to say that she knows what it is to be a woman. She also went on to accuse Dolly Bindra (who I've started to love by the way!) of not respecting another woman, when she's made a joke out of her own self and the respect that she hopes to earn. If only she was aware that she's popular only for her body because she has no substance.

On more than one instance (and this includes questions asked by and her conversations with, Salman Khan, as well as the arguments and conversations with other inmates), her answers do not relate to the topic being discussed. Oh, but the name "Aashmit" somehow finds it's way into it. It's as if you could ask her "What do you think about what happened in the house last week," or "Who do you think should be the next Prime Minister of India?" and her answer would be the same and it would include Ashmit Patel. Her statements sound so rehearsed, it's as if she's participating in an elocution competition. 

Maybe that's why she gives standardised answers - because she probably forgoes her make-up time to prepare for such 'politically correct' answers that end up making no sense at all and if I may add, sound stupid. Of all the balls that Salman Khan has busted on the show by bringing up topics that were avoided by the inmates and asking uncomfortable questions which demanded the truth, I wonder why he hasn't caught her off guard and said, "That's not what I asked!" because he had more than one opportunity to do so.

You can almost see how all the other house mates try to hold back vomit when she starts talking (okay, maybe they just shake their heads in exasperation but I'm sure there's vomit involved somewhere); except Ashmit of course who seems to be in awe of her despite the constant bickering that the two of them indulge in. She even threw a shoe at him - twice, because he refused to put her shoes back in their place when (she claims) she's washed even his underwear. There it is, right there! Do friends fight like this?? Absolutely not, unless you have one of those loony friends who always make it all about them! This is clearly a couple fighting - more like a disinterested husband and a nagging wife! But let's not get into that, because we have to take their word when they say they're "friends." (Yes, I'm going to use quotes whenever I'm referring to "their friendship.")

I wonder how he thinks she's so awesome when she always disagrees with him, has said that he needs psychiatric help (which sometimes even I feel he does) to his face and on camera??? I hope he realises what is going to become of his life if he decides to continue their "friendship" even after the show is over, or God forbid; they end up getting married because thanks to Bigg Boss, he already knows what living with Veena Malik would be like!!! 

Also, what's up with walking around the house in 4 inch heels all the time? So she says, there's a medical reason. Does that mean I should believe her?? When she bends down to pick something up in those heels, it looks as if the next thing she's going to do is take a piece of clothing off. She was as close to a stripper as she could get when she was "dancing" on the table singing "Abhi toh main jawaan hoon" (I am still young - there's the vanity again!) Oh, and I know a thing or two about dancing (more than a thing or two actually) and I've got to say; bending your knees, shaking your butt and lifting your hair, especially when you're doing all 3 together; is not it! Maybe if she had a pole to hold on to it could still be some form of dancing.

99% of whatever she does in the house, is for the camera and even though she maintained a low profile the first few weeks, it has been a torture to see her on the screen or hear her talking - whatever it is that she's babbling about. If we could afford to buy a new TV every time I broke one, I would really throw something whenever she appeared on my screen.

Every week that she had been nominated to be evicted from the house, she managed to survive. I don't know who the hell votes to save her. Thankfully, Veena Malik got evicted last night! I can't begin to explain how happy I feel because I can stand anybody else winning the show, but not someone whose actions contradict almost everything she says, doesn't know how to choose her words because more often than not she doesn't mean what she says and is so self absorbed that she could care less if hell broke loose when she was putting on make-up.

Now that she's out of the house, Merry Christmas!! :D

P.S. I hope she reads this.